In 2014 were all the ups and downs that life can offer, the same as any other year. The only reason we ever reflect on that is because of our defined close and open to another 365 days. I have felt the strain, believe me.. and in some ways I am still there. It is interesting to see the Facebook posts going up about being glad this year is almost over, and how people will be glad to see it go. Our path in life is one of continuity, so the only change is a perceived threshold that will not truly usher out any of these events. For one, we carry them in our hearts and as a part of our experiences. Another? Well… why would you want to throw out your experiences like yesterday’s trash? As hard as some of these moments have been, they are a part of what makes us stronger and more capable for whatever lies ahead. Sometimes it does not seem like a good thing. Perception… it is always about how we look at what we have experienced, and how we choose to process and log it away. I have goals unmet, but that does not mean that I will not reach them. It just means that it is taking me longer than I wish for. I am still on the right path. I am still encouraged that it is a good way to go.
Winter is a good time for reflection anyway. In our not so distant history, it was common for people to use this time to converse, and learn, and create – writers, philosophers, and artists have more opportune times to focus on their work when nature is at her harshest. My health conditions restrict me some, even though I try not to be defined by it, and I do spend more time indoors during the cold months. It is just sensible not to overtax myself to the point of exhaustion and choose the right days for each activity. I had thoughts of doing some cold weather camping this Winter, but the temperatures are giving me reason to reconsider. I desperately need a solid pair of cold weather boots (and REI has what I want…..) but I just can’t afford to buy them yet. I am not there yet. Southern California weather shifts a lot from year to year and this looks to be a really cold one. Spring might be a better friend for me to spend that time with, and it’s not that far off! 🙂 We shall see. I am still diligently working out at the gym, and working towards Half Dome. It is still a couple of years off for me, but it’s there. I will get there. It is going to happen at the right time, and in the right way. I am not in a hurry.
We place ourselves on a calendar and a clock. It’s as if the number of age defines us, and I refuse to do that any more than with my health conditions. Human beings have far more choices in life than they often give themselves the opportunity to select. Most will run into an obstacle and decide it is insurmountable and give up to go another direction, but that’s just not who I am and it never will be. I have to adapt and find different ways to do my thing but I am still going to. When I eventually get to Yosemite, I intend to be capable, proficient, and ready for it. The reality is that it will still involve a lot of pain because that is just what my life is, but for me that is not an excuse to head in another direction. I want something. I will have it. I am going into 2015 telling my readers the same thing that I have spent the last year saying…. adapt. Find a way.
New year… new start… whatever. 🙂 If it helps you to see it as a clean slate, then do that. Consistent progress, no matter how slow, is still facing forward and progressing. You may feel like you have been at a standstill. As long as you are not running the other direction, you’re fine. Face life. Have one. Lupus… pain… a heart condition… an injury or disability… whatever ails you… That is not where you dwell. I know what it is to have them as constant companions, but they are not where I dwell. Waking up with breath in your lungs each day is an opportunity to see wonder and beauty. It’s a moment to seek out something amazing, no matter how small it may be. You have a daily clean slate with which to move forward, regardless of the calendar date. Remember that in a couple of months. The “New Year” will arrive and depart quickly. Then you have an entire 365 page fresh chapter to fill up with fantastic memories. Go get them.