Personal responsibility. It all comes down to that, and you can only build that foundation within yourself when you make the decision to do so – on your own. It’s no different with anything in life. This applies to expected life events like caring for your residence, driving a car, paying your bills; that’s all the basic life maintenance activities. It also applies to anything that is an extraordinary step that you decide to take. You’re the one that defines what that is.
If you are capable of brushing your own hair in the morning, you do it. If you are capable of tying your own shoes, you do that too. If you drive, then you take yourself to the store, or work, or school. That is never given a second thought and it seems perfectly normal to anyone with a normal thinking process. When we do those things, responsibilities are part of the package. Insurance and registration for your car, fueling it and regular maintenance for tires, brakes, oil… and if you don’t, then things break down. You expect that too, because you know it’s necessary. If you don’t water your lawn, it dies. If you don’t feed your fish, they die. If you don’t wash your clothes, they stink. If you don’t show up at work, you get fired. If you don’t pay the light bill, they shut you off. These are fairly simple to understand. You also have no one to blame but yourself if something goes wrong due to your own inaction. People would readily call you an idiot if you got mad at someone else for any of those issues. I am amazed on a regular basis at how many people have codependent relationships with not just people they encounter face to face but also their online friends, most of whom they barely know. These are the people that will offer sympathy and call it support. They commiserate and call it love. The harsh reality is that their definitions are complete lies. We have developed a society where it is too acceptable to give a dishonest appraisal of a situation just to make that person happy. Happy does not always equal healthy. Ego-stroking can be deadly.
There is one person responsible for putting a fork in your mouth. You. No choice that you make can be aimed at someone else’s influence or habits. Just because a thing is present does not mean that you have to eat it, drink it, wear it, take it, participate in it in any way. When you are a grown adult, these are the things you take responsibility for. It’s your choice whether you eat a donut or a carrot. It’s your decision to get drunk or have several glasses of water instead. You’re the one in control of whether you follow other people down a path of destruction or choose to keep doing the right things even when you have to do them ALONE. There is nothing wrong with being on your own path and being alone. I see a whole lot of people that could benefit greatly from a lot more alone time, in fact. The need to have others around to stimulate and entertain you is a sickness in our modern society. My father used to tell me there are not many people that can handle a night alone in the woods. Not many people can, because the only thing out there … is themselves. I’ve done it, and he’s right. It’s not easy. Most people either wouldn’t try it, or would bail out. I really believe that. The need for constant external input – especially when it’s from other people – is not a sign of mental health. It’s quite the opposite. When you can find yourself at ease with the quiet, the stillness, and the cessation of activity, then I will believe you are a healthy individual. The easily bored individual needs to learn to be with self. That’s the truth. You don’t have to like it. It’s still true.
For some people, eating fills that internal silence. They have also programmed themselves so intensely to center on unwholesome consumables that don’t really qualify as “food” that they can’t be interested in a carrot. They can no longer feel satisfied by a plain meal of rice and beans with a salad. It’s not “exciting” enough for their habits. Realize that you are also 100% in control of changing your habits. It takes one thing – make a decision. Stop blaming someone else. This is one thing in life where it really is all about you. Own it.