Sleep, HAHA ha…

Yeah… sleep.  *snicker*  Right… not till I return to my blog and empty my thoughts.  SUCH a day it has been.  I haven’t written in a while because Alice found that rabbit hole, and it’s name is Periscope.  At first I didn’t feel compelled, and then I was curious, and then I thought “Okay… it has some uses…”  I had NO idea. (You can laugh.)  If you’ve not yet discovered what a window to the world this app can be, you really should consider exploring.  You can see the world.  You can make friends all over the world.  No, it’s not the same as Facebook either.  It’s very different when you can interact live with voice and a view.  How many times has someone taken your words wrong on social media anyway, and BECAUSE they only had text to work with?  YouTube is great and you can edit, but it’s not interactive.  Not really.

I bounced from one curiosity to the next and landed in Hawaii and Australia primarily.  I can’t even tell you how I first met some of my new friends because it happened so fast.  For those who do not realize it, my first nature is introverted – even though everyone thinks I’m a social creature.  They’re now calling it being an “ambivert”, which I think is pretty funny and accurate.  I usually hate coined and conglomerated terms but it fits, I swear.  When it comes to health condition outreach, I remain an open book to my readers and followers online because if I’m not honest, I reach no one.  So realize that I do have an anxiety disorder and it took a lot of adjustment for me to get into making YouTube videos, and an even bigger adjustment to deal with live streaming.  That I’m making this effort means I found value in it.  Only my closest friends earn my trust enough to learn more details about my personal life otherwise.  If I’m sharing with you like that, you did something very right.  It means you’ve been an encouragement that I desperately needed.

I have felt stuck, almost stalled out, for a while in some areas.  That’s not just frustrating.  When you’re trying as an autoimmune/neurological patient to train for a challenging goal, it’s the kiss of death for your schedule.  I am without question not where I want or need to be right now and I’ve felt for a while like I was spinning my wheels.  That’s not a conversation I have with everyone when I’m in the middle of it and literally only ONE person has been there for me enough to hear it, feel it, and stay by my side working through it this last year.  Probably in part out of empathy – being able to personally identify with the intended path and the roadblocks both.  Talk is cheap.  When I see someone in motion, doing something about their issues, THEN I am impressed.  They remain my most trusted support and genuine confidant.  But then…….

I’m grateful for the new voices.  Grateful for the fresh support and encouragement.  It’s a breath of fresh air that I haven’t felt in a long time.  I’ve said this in scopes but I’ll say it here too; I’ve had more reason to laugh and smile in the last few weeks than I have had in a long time.  My new scoping friends, you’re not just friends.  You’re a family.  What an amazing community full of people willing to work at maintaining some standards.  WOW, seriously.  You know what you get in Facebook if you try to discuss such things?  “It’s just Facebook.”  Now there’s a phrase I’m sick of and one that makes me want to smack somebody.  It’s dismissive of the fact that there is another human being that you are talking to.  There’s no excuse for bad behavior and that phrase just screams that you don’t care about anyone but yourself – “I’ll do what I want”, basically.  I won’t even get into the various scenarios I’ve seen it applied to.  So far I haven’t run into that attitude in Periscope really.  I think people are less likely to mouth off when they have to do it with their face and voice, rather than hiding behind purely text.  Their protection and anonymity is gone once they have to be live in front of the world.  For the majority of us it triggers a sense of responsibility.  It sure does for me!

Is there any better friend than one that makes you want to better yourself?  I’ll take that any day over commiseration.  Is there any better friend than one that makes you laugh and feel lighter in your heart every day that you talk to them?  I’d much rather have that than someone telling me it’s okay to feel angry, sad, or depressed.  (Emotions are real and have their place, but you shouldn’t camp out there!)  Is there ANY better friend than one that will take the time to actually hear you?  I need that more than someone just telling me I should “take it easy” and rest all the time.

Do you ever wonder how many people have been talked out of taking action by the alluring promise that their doubts were normal and they should embrace limitations?  A life of adapting means choosing not to accept limits as they are.  It means being aware that while you’re picking your path, someone else is also watching you too.  I’ve chosen to do something difficult.  There just is no place in my life for extra discouragement.. and I’ve had my fair share of it.

By the way, I’m glad people seem to have figured out my sense of humor.  Snarky and smartass is just a requirement for anyone that I consider family.  😉  If you can’t have fun, you’re not really living.  Thanks for sending a little more light my way.

T

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