NO EXCUSES. It’s that simple, my lovelies.
Every morning when you open your eyes, just like today, you’re going to make choices. Those choices will affect you while you walk to the shower, to the kitchen for breakfast, while you dress, and for the rest of your day. Ultimately, each day you’re making choices that will affect how the rest of this year will unfold, and you can pick directions that are beneficial or detrimental under your own free will and you WILL live with the results – whatever they may be. You’re the only one in charge of this, just like I always say we are the ones in charge of our health care and we hire physicians to assist us. The same applies to directing our mindset to set up the day, the week, the month, and the year. What you think, and speak (and then hear with your ears because you said it out loud), is like a rudder that will send you either forward in progress or sideways into a wreck on the rocks. It’s day ONE right now. So where are you headed? You probably have the day off responsibilities right now. It’s a good time to make that assessment. (Especially since the major partying was last night if you did any… today should be quiet enough.)
I don’t do resolutions. In my opinion they are pointless displays of a desire for an image that you have no real determination to carry out. It’s a cultural tradition with little substance. Most people discuss resolutions quite openly, and then joke about how long it will last. If there is anything meaningful and necessary in your life to follow through on, just stop talking about it and make it happen. It doesn’t matter what the pace is as long as you continue to face forward, and in doing so you will find out that you are far more capable than you have ever imagined. While you’re at it, stop degrading yourself because you’re probably the ONLY one saying negative and denigrating things about you. Don’t invite people to insult and demoralize you and you will be more apt to stand up for yourself when they try – you’ll find yourself instead showing people what you’re really made of and speaking powerful declarations over yourself of the good things to come. Mind your words. Build a foundation that others will respect. You won’t get that with self-denigration. It’s not cute. It’s not humorous.
Over the last few months I’ve seen a lot of behaviors that I can’t accommodate or participate in. That happens in text posts in social media, and it happens in live streaming broadcast chat. I’ve been tolerant to a point with some people, considering they are in the process of growth. The bottom line for me right now however is that I am in the middle of crunch time on training and projects, and there are also some very dedicated individuals that have been with me a long time who do (righteously) expect a certain level of positive focus and support. I can’t afford to break stride for any insecurities that creep into my own mind, and I can’t break it to placate it in anyone else. I put myself out there and share my story for two solid reasons, and here they are….
1. Outreach as an advocate for better quality of life with catastrophic illness and injury.
2. Awareness education to the public regarding rheumatic autoimmune and neurological diseases, and women’s heart disease.
That’s my platform. Starting today I am laying out some ground rules and boundaries. This is necessary because being and advocate and offering support is about teaching strength and suggesting solution strategies for a progressing life path. It includes some empathy but never sympathy, and the second I allow myself to consider sympathy in any form I’ve abandoned my #NoExcuses standpoint. That also means that it’s possible for me to start feeling like I deserve sympathy myself… and I don’t… no one does. It’s a word used far too loosely in all the wrong areas. This is life. Life contains pitfalls and challenges and pain. There are always worse things. Remember that.
How I address some things may change a bit. I will very directly tell people in topical broadcasts if they’re off topic (not that I’ve never done that anyway). That’s not a halt on crosstalk, chat, hellos, or asking how people are, or even interjecting a question or thought. It IS a mandate that I’m not going to allow anyone to drive a broadcast when I have a purpose spelled out for it. My work is important and I’m trying to reach people that are in pain and at risk for damage and death if they don’t get control. Reminder: LUPUS KILLS. It is not an inconvenient disease. It is debilitating and life-threatening, and there is no cure. I am a Lupus patient. I am a heart patient. I am at huge risk and so are many of my friends. I am trying to offer choices, direction, and solutions that will provide better outcomes for all of us. I am building a platform of genuine support, not a mutual environment of commiseration. If I see a repetition of complaint from someone that is refusing to take charge of embracing a solution or at least deciding to seek one, I’m going to call them on the carpet for it. It’s not to be mean. It’s called tough love. A friend recently described me as “no nonsense”. That’s a very basic truth about me. I don’t do anything halfway.
I’m honest and I’m all in, or I’m nothing. My word is to me the same as a blood oath. I said I would be the voice for those who feel they can’t. This is the only way that can happen.
I would love to think that everyone on my lists will link arms with this cause 100%. That’s not about how they participate but just that they at the very least do not throw rocks in my path. If you can’t add something uplifting, silence is an option. If you’re having a struggle and want to talk about it, and I KNOW YOU WELL ENOUGH (my close friends that I trust), you know that you can message me and we’ll chat. What I expect in return for the offer of support is that you move forward when you get that response. That doesn’t mean you have to solve the issue in 5 minutes, or even a week, but it does mean that I don’t want to see the same issue repeated 10 times over the next year on the exact same point without any true intentions displayed to shore it up. I have removed people from friend lists for exactly that behavior, just as an FYI. You can’t continue to melodramatically tell me that your circumstances are destroying you when I can see you are still here and expect me to take you seriously. Stop trying to convince yourself that you’re going to fail. That too is a choice. We either do this thing together or we start losing people. Are you tired of losing people? I am.
You woke up. You’re breathing. You’re reading this. If you are going to say you are a warrior then find your center and fight. GET UP AND MOVE! The only time you fail is when you stop getting back up!
Birth is a death sentence. I’m the first one to say that, and I know we are all on a march towards our own mortality. I’ve faced that quite plainly with my own health conditions. That does not however mean that we should carelessly careen towards it without a concern about the consequences of those…. choices. I do not teach how to extend the years you have on this planet. I teach how to ignite the fire of real life, and experiences, and purpose within the years that you are given. The truth is that the more you care you put into your quality of life, the more years you are given (barring accidentally stepping in front of a Mack truck, mind you). The more care you put into your daily decisions and loving yourself, the more you will WANT to continue as well. That’s a crucial and oft ignored point.
You are the one who will decide how you respond to life challenges, regardless of their nature. The year 2016 was not a bad year. It was challenging in some ways, as are they all, but there were lessons and growth to be had. Take it and run with it and get farther ahead in 2017 BECAUSE YOU CAN.
It’s day one. Make it matter. Make it real. There are no excuses. No one has the time or energy to spare for wallowing in misery, and as I have said for a long time now….
Pain is inevitable. Sooner or later it touches all of is. SUFFERING is optional.
We share the same air. That very thing that we take into our lungs that sustains us is part of what connects us all, wherever we are, past, present, and future. We share the same air.